Journaling:

I suppose I should've named my last post "Some lessons RElearned" .

Anyway, H arrived just after 12am. He lifted me up and we just held each other for about 15 minutes -- seriously. That felt really great, but what wasn't so great was he told me he had been drinking before he got here. H said he stopped off in Stockton (about 40 minutes away from us) and bought a 6-pack of Smirnoff Twisters (and drank them all ) to unwind before getting home. H said all he wanted to do was eat something since he hadn't at all during his drive home then pass out. I offered to heat up some leftovers for him, but he said he would do it and asked me to sit in the kitchen with him, so I did.

I was very disappointed about the drinking, but I managed to not let it show.

H had on a new shirt and asked what I thought about it. I told him it was nice. He said he bought it at the mall. I never would have thought in my life that I would begin to hate those words so much -- "the mall" and "Old Navy". I started thinking, "The mall?! Again?!....(Sigh)....I'm just going to hope he's referring to a mall in AZ." I let it roll... .

H just kept looking at me all night. I would smile at him and say "what?". He'd smile back and say nothing. One time he mumbled something when we were still in the kitchen. I asked him, "What was that?" H said, "Huh?" I told him I thought he said something, and he said, "......I did......I said G**damn it." (???)

H kept mumbling things under his breath here and there. I would ask him what was it, but he wouldn't answer me, so I let it be.

We watched TV for a bit before going to bed. H was very affectionate with me, and me with him, the moment he got here and all throughout the night. I was hoping for last night, but since I knew he had been drinking, I figured it wasn't going to happen, but H did hold me ALL night. If I moved to change positions, H pulled me back over to him .

H kept waking up all night saying he had a headache (hmm I wonder why ). He finally took some Excedrin Migraine.

He woke up again around 6am and initiated . After, H asked, "We're going to be ok, right, JV?" I told him yes.

He's still in bed right now. The boys have tried to get him up by jumping on him , but I told them Daddy is very tired so let's let him rest.

So....it's only been several hours since he's been here. I am bothered by his drinking last night, but I'm not going to dwell on it. I hope he wasn't drinking a lot in AZ, and I hope it doesn't get really out of hand here again.

Thanks for listening.

JV

"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."

Valerie

"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~ author unknown

"Piecing is not for the faint of heart." ~ sage