I'm done with this. You can call me a failure if you'd like, but I'm done.
H is out for the 5th night in a row. I cannot deal with this anymore. I've felt like I've been a single mom for a long time already, so what is the difference in calling it quits?
H just left about 20 minutes ago, said he was going to stop by his mom's for a bit then go play poker. Normally, I would have crumbled as he walked out the door, but not this time. I have had it.
I called his cell and said, "Why don't we just sell the house and go our separate ways?" H asked what I was talking about, and I told him, "I cannot go on like this anymore. This is the 5th night in a row that you've left to go be somewhere else. So what's the difference in being a single mother? You clearly don't want to be here, and neither do I." H said, "Well why don't I just move out then?" I said fine. I told H to give me about a month to get the house in selling condition, and he said, "Why do you want to sell the house when I just told you I would move out?" I told H because I did not want to be here anymore. I told him if he wants me to have the house, fine, but I'm selling it.
H said, "I'm pulling up to my mom's now, sooooo.....finish saying what you want so I can get out of here." I told H that's it. I had no more to say because I got everything out of my system over the past few days. I'm tired of being alone, and I just want to move on. I'd like to move on with H, but it's apparent to me that he just doesn't feel the same.
Ok, H is back. I'll post later.
JV
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."
Valerie
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~ author unknown
