Are you sure h is being manipulative when he's initiating after an argument? What if he's just being smart and savvy because he realizes that is what Michele calls a "truce trigger" for you guys? (something that ends an argument or signals a peace offering).

It sounds like you h enjoys creating a persona for himself a bit ... maybe he's looking for more admiration and attention?

Sage

Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.