The saga continues..never going to the dark side

[Just_Me]

No kidding you made 7344 mad. She left the board forever thanks to you.

I think when Michelle said insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results she was talking about doing things that didn't work. Same with "do something different" approach. So therein lies the difficulty. Am I doing what doesn't work? Or am I doing what works so I should continue?

You are right about what this would look like to an outsider...or probably even to my ex's parents...like we are still a couple. I think I can comfortably say that we are friends. Things are relaxed and enjoyable when we are together. Actually it feels like marriage only without the physical intimacy. Do I want to switch gears on that to see if it becomes more? Or do I want to continue on the present course and see if it becomes more? I still argue that you can't fall in love without being together. Have the interactions, etc, up to this point made it possible for her to suddenly chase me if I back way off?

So this is what I've currently been doing. This whole week I haven't initiated any phone calls. I have invited her to join me/kids when we are doing something if she calls. I've accepted all of her offers. Maybe I should make plans for some of those. And I've felt less anxious about us. That just seem to come about naturally.

Oh, about her parents, when they first came back (they're snowbirds) I invited them over and such. Let them know through action that I still wanted to include them. They are fun to be around and really nice. I think her parents feel that the D was a mistake (her mom actually has indicated that she's not sure what her daughter is doing). They actually make efforts that include us both in activities. It literally is just like our marriage (or better) when we all get together. No one is uncomfortable with this strange dynamic (or no one seems that way...I guess I'm assuming). At this point I don't know. I'm just being myself without a whole lot of strategy. Maybe that's all I can be. I'm not even sure what I'm doing is DBing.