Not much new to post. One observation I've noted is that my ex is always implying that I think bad things or want bad things for her. When she called yesterday she was talking about her time of the month and that it was bad this time. I was just asking some routine GYN questions to make sure the period was normal (guess what? I just realized that I didn't just listen and say I'm sorry...I went into Mr fix it mode...ugghh). Anyway, we got to talking about cancer and she says "you want me to have a slow and painful death". That's a theme that's been running through this R since the bomb. She feels I am angry at her. Whatever I'm doing I haven't impressed upon her that I'm not mad or spiteful.
So anyway, she calls last night while the boys and I are eating. I was cheery. Another one of those convos that don't go anywhere. I keep thinking she's waiting to tell me something or to hear something from me. How do I draw her out? I asked her if something was wrong because she sounded so down and she said "just the usual". I'm not sure what the usual is. Maybe I should have asked more questions, but I asked whether it was her kids being gone, and then just kind of filled the silence with my jabber. I did sympathize that she was feeling out of sorts and then went and did my own thing with the kids.
This morning I feel really good. I feel less of that anxiety that Bruce is always telling me about. Maybe it was a couple days of me not initiating that helped. Well that's all for now. Ta ta.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
