Quote: Detachment is hard too. I suspect that's why we haven't heard from you for a few days? Are you working on detaching too?
Who me? In the words of bugs bunny "she don't know me very well do she?"
Quick rundown...what did I post last? Oh yeah, e-mail on Friday asking if she wanted to go with me to meet friends. Anyway, I saw my friend Friday night and had a really good time. He looked really happy and it was bittersweet to see a happy marriage. Afterwards I had a little lowered inhibitions and called ex to ask her to go out dancing with me. She said "I'm not going out this late". I kicked myself for doing that. The next morning she called to say she was asleep when I called and couldn't have got ready in time to go out. More of a making excuse for her declining. It seemed as though if it had been earlier it might have been a yes but who knows.
Saturday she called and I told her about my friend and their new adopted baby. Then we went on a pretty long bike ride (of course at my initiation). It was nice. No pressure. We ran and got coffee. Later in the day she called to tell me she got her test scores. They weren't great, but I was still proud that she worked so hard and did it anyway. I told her so and later asked if she was okay...that I knew she wanted to do better. I said "why don't you swing by for some supper and a few drinks". I shouldn't have done it. She did end up coming over several hours later, but she didn't seem that comfortable. She had one drink. I initiated some physical stuff and she hightailed it out of there. I was really stupid on Saturday. After she left she called three times but I didn't pick up. I did eventually and said "sorry for driving you off". Then I went out by myself, but saw a friend and ended up closing down the bar with her and her girlfriends.
On a sidenote...after the bar I went over to her place and I chatted with one of her girlfriends that was having marital problems. I wanted to be a helpful DBer, but she had been physically abused and I ended up saying more that she needed to distance herself until he was willing to make the change. This marital strife stuff is so ubiquitous that it's disgruntling.
Anyway, on to Sunday. Brief talk on the phone Sunday morning. I didn't initiate any kind of get together (for once). She called back in the afternoon and we discussed her walking the dog with her mom. Since she didn't call back I just walked him myself. She finally did call, but by then I was doing other things so I didn't get back to her for quite a while. Later when I returned her call I said I was going to get something to eat if she wanted to join me. She and her parents joined me and we had a good time. Then we went to play bingo and then over to her parents to play some cards. The night was really relaxed. She was especially playful during cards and we laughed and joked about her card mistakes. That interaction did somewhat erase Saturday nights snafu. I did touch her some...a hug at the restaurant and some touching her neck and shoulders in the car. One interesting note is that I said she looked "hot" today and she said "you just think that because you have a crush on me". I said..."No. I don't even like you. Imagine how hot I'd think you are if I did." And no, she didn't take it seriously.
Okay, that does it for updates. And some of you thought I was detaching and not pursuing. Actually, that sounds like a lot, but there was a fair amount of silence in between and the silence was broken by her as often as me. It is condensed to interactions with her.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
