Thought I'd post since things are slow here. I hate slow days...especially when no one on the board is talking either.
I've pursued a bit. Called ex several times after work yesterday. She sounded down because her kids were gone. Felt a little stir crazy today. Slow days at work are like that...hard to just thought stop.
I stupidly sent an e-mail telling her she was welcome to come to meet some friends from out of town with me. She replied back that she wouldn't be comfortable but thanks for asking. Nothing much else to report. Going into the weekend. Hopefully I'll keep myself plenty occupied. I don't think that will be a problem...I'm behind on tons of stuff.
Last thing. I was looking through e-mails that I sent to her over the past two years. Ya know when we weren't fighting or apologizing I was generally pretty sweet. But there were a fair number of apology e-mails as well for things I did. As I read them it kind of took me back to how difficult our marriage was and how we had some pretty terrible fights. I wonder if I'm not deluding myself about our chances. Sure I feel I can control my temper and have a better grasp on dealing with her kids, but other issues like her feelings about my ex-wife (1st wife) would still be there and some of the other stuff. Anyway, not healthy to waste my day away thinking about old stuff, but when I look at our life through e-mails it seems kind of bad. Short notes (especially from her), lots of fighting, lots of apologies. Maybe I'm the one that was abducted by aliens for even thinking that things will be different this time.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
