So nice of you to share those stories with us. They were hopeful. It's too bad the one walk away found out her mistake too late. I've actually pointed that out to my ex (I know...not that smart) that it could happen. I do find the message hopeful, but less so if my ex ends up moving away for school. I think a long distance thing would be much more difficult to maintain. But that's hopefully a year away and a lot can happen in that time.
UD, thanks for your input as well. I like your commitment. I felt the same when I wanted to preserve my family. Now I just have an ex and stepkids with all the problems that go with that. I'm not sure my commitment to 3-4 years is there, but you never know. I'm not doing anything else at the moment.
I did start a book on step-parenting. You know what? Compared to the people described in the book our blended family was a cake walk. Our problems were typical. My ex-W behavior was stereotypical (jealousy of time spent with my kids and overprotectiveness of her own). Mine was also fairly predictable. I now see I should have laid back in the grass more. I think both sets of kids were much more accepting of the blended family than the ones described. Just needed to be a little more fair....both of us...not just me.
UPDATE: My ex's stepkids are going out of town for 3 weeks or so. I guess that will free up a lot of time for my ex. I wonder whether she will choose to include me or if we'll be on our own. I'll initiate some during this time. Anyway, I said I wanted to see them before they went did she want to grab some icecream or something. She called later and changed it to dinner.
Dinner was interesting. I guess her kids had been difficult all day and still were at dinner. Mainly fighting with each other. I just stayed out of it, but wonder in retrospect if I should have handled it differently. My ex actually had a slight meltdown and got fairly angry with her kids. Looked like she wanted to cry. I reached across and held her hands across the table and asked if she was okay. I think it helped snap her out of it. I wonder if maybe I should have at least suggested the kids be on their best behavior since their mom was so stressed out. But then again maybe she should also see that I'm not the one responsible for the behavior and can ignore it when I choose and let her handle it. That she's on her own when it comes to discipline. The remainder of dinner was fun. We left on a good note and I didn't drag it out. No physical...not even a hug.
That's all for now. Thanks everyone. I'd love it if a group of people could get together. Maybe we should actually plan something...how about a trip to Vegas.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
