Hey Wes, bulldogr, Bruce et al.:

I loved what bulldogr said. And you know what? I am at year 2 post-bomb. No D but the W is definitely on a trajectory for a 3-4 year S/D situation in our R! You see, I thought initially that it would be like what Michele says the thumb rule is - one month of every year of M. My W and I have been M for 8 years+ now. So I thought 8 months to a year max. But it has been 2 years and while my W's anger is gone, she treats me with more respect etc., I dont see any strong movement for her to come back. I think that when WAW is an MLCWAW then it takes a lot longer.

It seems to me, from having browsed this and other boards extensively and also from reflecting and reading on my own situation, that a plain vanilla WAW has issues that are directly related to the M. THe MLCWAW however has issues internal to themselves that they are dealing with in addition to M-issues and they tend to lump everything into M issues as an escape mechanism. When the M is discarded they see that their issues still remain and then they get some clarity.

This happened to a friend of mine and her full-blown-MLC-WAH. Took a divorce, several trips, lots of money spent on buying unnecessary stuff etc. for him to realize he was making a mistake and he came back. He pipped the post at 3 years flat.

Wes, in you case, your W is actually on a much faster trajectory I think. I dont see much in your W's case that hints at a strong MLC. Her problem seems more specific, i.e. the issue of blending families. But I definitely see MLCWAW signs in my sitch, bulldogr, Bruce and Gabriel. But anyway the point is, this thing takes a lot of time. You have to be prepared for that.

I ask myself - how long will I wait? Sometimes I crave physical touch. Have you seen the movie scent of a woman and Al Pacino's craving? Well, I now know what that was all about! But then I look into my D3's eyes (and they are gorgeous) and I dont think time matters anymore. I will give up when there is not a stone left unturned.

UD

The 3 laws of DBing: 1. PMA is critical to DBing. 2. Since drop in WAW's PMA leads to drop in LBS's PMA and vice-versa detachment is critical. 3. Validate to raise WAW's PMA and GAL to raise LBS's.