Thanks as always. Your comments and advice are sound. I might have the 50%, but my ex is going to hold on to the other 50% forever. Especially if she can get about as much as she needs for herself and her kids simply by calling up and saying "wanna do something?". Bruce, I do like being around her, but at the moment I'm not sure that it's reason enough.
My goals: 1) Continue to enjoy doing things by myself (walking the dog, rollerblading, going to the gym) 2) Seek out groups to expand friendships (ie church groups, sports leagues) 3) Work on book 4) Research on how to improve relations between myself, my kids, and stepkids a) Get books from library b) see counselor for advice c) Look for activities that kids and I can do together.
5) Take a continuing education class (book writing course at community college)
I want to get busy enough that I really don't have a whole lot of time to spend with my ex. At least not for the next 2 or 3 weeks. Could be difficult because her kids are going out of town for 3 weeks and she may want to spend time together.
You know I take setbacks poorly so take my pessimism with a grain of salt. But I do have a question before I get back to work. Should I start setting boundaries? My ex still can come and go at the house, she comes over to iron on occasion, occasionally do laundry, she (and her kids) help themselves to whatever they'd like to eat or drink, she's taken my laptop without asking. Do I just say..."No more of that." Or do I just continue to go with the flow and be fairly open and easy going about my house?
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Especially if she can get about as much as she needs for herself and her kids simply by calling up and saying "wanna do something?". Bruce, I do like being around her, but at the moment I'm not sure that it's reason enough. 
