Wes:

I agree with Bruce. What you are doing is working (your W is seeking you out and hanging out with you, no matter what your W is saying to her buddies) but you need to adjust somethings with your approach, not give up !! You know sometimes I think that WAWs express their innermost fears to their support group-just like we do. But there is a lot more to their psyche ,such as love, guilt, longing etc that they may not express because it will make the other person think they are wishy washy or whatever. For example, my WAW has told several of her friends that it is over and she os going to file for D etc. But I dont see that in her actions when she is with me! Your W maybe was just venting one side of her psyche to her friend. the other side of her psyche she is showing to you (by pursuing you and initiating time together). Your WAW is torn, Wes. You have 1/2 of her psyche. How can you (through actions, words will never do) get to that other half, maybe even to like 70%?

Wes, where are your goals/ideas on how you are going to address your main problem? (Okay, now I am sounding like a broken record - occuptaional hazard of dealing with grad students- sorry ). Step back and think. Perhaps even tell your W you need a time out to think for a couple of weeks. I dont know.....

UD

The 3 laws of DBing: 1. PMA is critical to DBing. 2. Since drop in WAW's PMA leads to drop in LBS's PMA and vice-versa detachment is critical. 3. Validate to raise WAW's PMA and GAL to raise LBS's.