Step back a little. Do not get discouraged by your W's email. Look at her actions, not words. It may be a good move for you to actually seek professional help in trying to address the issue of blended families. There may JUST be something that you can learn to make the situation better. Also, if you drop a hint or two to your W on the fact that you are taking counseling on this issue, it may help at least show her that you are taking some concrete measures. Apart from that, this may be a good time for you to step away from her a little and try to lovingly distance. Give her space. She is torn between her attachment to you and her motherhood. You need to give her the opportunity to step back herself and problem solve to see if there is something that she can do to mend the situation. There are a lot of positive connections between you and W, Wes. You already know your central problem. You need to work on yourself by focussing and learning how you can address the joint family issue. You may begin actually by admitting to yourself (and maybe to her) that that is the problem. I know you are not going to just give up and sit on the sidelines hoping something will happen. That is what your W is doing!! If both of you take that approach, sure as hell nothing is going to happen.
Wes, brainstorm, get professional help on the blended family issue, take a long-term view (1 year) and start work today.
UD
The 3 laws of DBing:
1. PMA is critical to DBing.
2. Since drop in WAW's PMA leads to drop in LBS's PMA and vice-versa detachment is critical.
3. Validate to raise WAW's PMA and GAL to raise LBS's.
