I am not very perceptive (as you noted yesterday on my thread) but it seems to me (as Jo says) your W really wants to be in an R with you but has a mental block due to the issues relating to melded families etc. She does not know how to make that work it seems. In light of this, your goals that you laid out over on that other thread are well targeted. Would it actually help for you (alone first and perhaps later together) to seek professional help in identifying how that aspect of the relationship can be worked out? It seems too complicated (but also specific) for non-professionals to be handling. Just a thought.
UD
The 3 laws of DBing:
1. PMA is critical to DBing.
2. Since drop in WAW's PMA leads to drop in LBS's PMA and vice-versa detachment is critical.
3. Validate to raise WAW's PMA and GAL to raise LBS's.
