When I finished reading your last few posts, you successfully triggered the best swearing session I've had in a while. I'll censor it here: DADGUMMIT, WHAT IN TARNATION ARE YOU THINKING , MAN!!!
Quote: So We had a R talk and now she knows how I feel about her. And now I know how she feels too. She'd rather have a life of uncertainty--no full time job, no house, no friends...than be with me.
Wes, buddy....you know better than this. Believe none of what they say and only half of what they do. Her actions speak loudly regarding her enjoyment of your presence in her life.
However, over and over in your sitch, I see her doubting your ability to self-feed. She doesn't want to take care of your emotional needs right now, not when she's hurting, confused, and wondering about her future.
Paint yourself as not needing her, Wes, but enjoying her company as well. It'll remove this big area of hesitation in her. A big part of this will involve not asking her for reassurances, which is what R convos are about at the heart, IMHO.
Its your choice to throw in the towel on your R or not. But if you do so now, know that you may be quitting right when there is a ton of hope in your sitch. Her wanting to be friends, to keep you in contact with her family, all are the foundation stones for a future, revised, wonderfully different R. Are you ready and willing to do things differently/ to be different so that you are that partner in her future?
I'm sorry you're hurting, buddy. And if all this contact is too much, then a little backing off is just fine, especially all pursuit on your part. The old rules of interaction aren't functional anymore, and leaving contact to her seems to be working wonderfully. Maybe let it sit there and see how that goes.
