Update for the night. I had a brief IM chat with her last night. She indicated she wanted to come over and see the dog today. Anyway, today not much contact. I called and asked her to bring back my laptop.
So tonight I was mowing the lawn when she came over. I just kept on cutting for a bit, but did stop when the bag was full to say "Hi". She asked if I wanted to go get some dinner. I hedged a bit, but said Okay.
Dinner was fine...actually pretty fun. She needled me a bit about my so called "bad driving" asking me why I was such a crazy man. I said...just who I am, rather than tell her I was a good driver. It's odd, but doesn't it seem that these walk-aways are really critical? It might sometimes be in a teasing way but there is often a putdown somewhere in there.
I was good tonight. I didn't touch her at all. I didn't make any inuendos and I didn't show her undo attention. I told her she looked nice and that was it. When we got back here they hung out for awhile. I cut the grass with my step-kids help while she puttered around the yard or jumped on the trampoline with the kids. She kept kind of teasingly coming up to me while I was mowing. I normally would take the bait and grab her kiddingly. Tonight I didn't. I kept somewhat aloof.
Oh, the most telling thing of all happened. The only real truth I've heard from her in months. The song by Three Doors Down called "let me go" was on as we pulled into the driveway. It's the song that goes "you love me but you don't know who I am". Well she came up to me after we got out of the car and sang "you love me but I just don't give a damn". I said...."of that I have no doubt" and went off to mow.
So the purpose of this post. This weekend is a big test---of my willpower and where my ex is with us. Her kids are off to their dad's. Mine are out of town for the next two weeks. So both of us with a free weekend. So can I avoid asking her out? And will she ask me to do something? I think I'm once again setting myself up for disappointment because I want her to ask me to go to the bar or to a movie. I'm such a loser. I just can't avoid pursuing.
Well that's all for this post. What are your thoughts about this weekend? Do you think I should just take her song words to heart..."you love me but I just don't give a damn"? LOL
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
The song by Three Doors Down called "let me go" was on as we pulled into the driveway. It's the song that goes "you love me but you don't know who I am". Well she came up to me after we got out of the car and sang "you love me but I just don't give a damn". I said...."of that I have no doubt" and went off to mow. 
