Hi DL... I agree with you that the marriage and my own personal sexual journey is very time-consuming; however, I feel good about making this my "project" because I have neglected these areas for so long. I am finding now that things have straightened out, I still want to keep my eye on the relationship ball; there is always room for growth, and I don't want to backslide. Once things start to improve, you get to a place of feeling more relaxed about all the conflicts...you start to develop confidence.
You and your H have some limitations that make a fluid, spontaneous sex life difficult. You are working with your LDness, and H has ED. I know for me, I had to get past my own stuff to see my H's struggle more clearly: he was always the one to initiate, and I felt very controlled, until I realized he was compensating for performance anxiety and didn't want to show me this. He was trying to work with me, in his way, but I misinterpreted a lot because of the bad communication. I walk a balance between being accomodating to him and figuring out what I need for me. BTW, I also struggle with feeling LD at times...sometimes if I don't think too much and just go with the flow, I am fine.
Keep working at it...what do you think of Passionate Marriage?
