Thanks for your inputs guys. I really appreciate it. (Goal # 1 : become more familiar with how to work this bb. :D)
Bruce, yes, I have been trying to detach enough that I can view it as getting myself back in order and working on me. My sitch is kind of weird and different from some of you because of the 2-year lead time to declaration of D-intent! During this time we have been working very closely together, almost seamlessly given the infant daughter that we had. No ILYs, no intimacy, but just very solid friendship. In fact, we even did social outings together (actually she came to my social events, and up until Easter I participated in hers!). So it was always touch-and-go. However, even the slightest pressure elicited the same response- sorry, cant commit. So detachment has been difficult. I stopped pursuit at the beginning of the year. I seldom call unless it is to deal with D3 issues. So, in that sense I hadn't gotten the wake-up call yet (may be if I had gotten it earlier I would not be here now :crazy:).(Drat-why is this window for posting so small?). But now I do. I have already put in place some steps and goals which I will outline after spending some time tonight on it.
Gabriel:
Have read Deida - both Superior Man and Intimate Communion!! Fat lot of good it has done me huh? Well, actually I know that I have to sidestep the wimp image without appearing controlling (I have been this from time to time). I have already adopted the stance of unconditional love and will outline plans/goals along these lines. You are spot-on on the being a good mother thing- funny thing is she is an excellent mom and I have never spared WOA to her (yes, read 5LL as well) in that regard. In fact, I have never spared WOA at all!
I am going to sit down tonight and list positives and negatives in my sitch and formulate goals. Thanks and I know I am receiving your help right now and offering little but I assure you once I get over these beginner blues I will offer what I can.
Thanks and best to you all.
The 3 laws of DBing:
1. PMA is critical to DBing.
2. Since drop in WAW's PMA leads to drop in LBS's PMA and vice-versa detachment is critical.
3. Validate to raise WAW's PMA and GAL to raise LBS's.
