Texts: The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida: Set aside your likely overly analytical mind and let this book help you to rediscover your non-PC maleness. Not the howl at the moon men's movement guy, but one that can be quite proud of his male differences from his female partner. Helped me immensely.
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman: Helped me to see her attempts to love me and realize why she wasn't recognizing my attempts. A necessary complement to DB & DR, IMHO.
Some thoughts:
UD, think creatively and do things differently as you DB. Catch her attention with your ability to keep growing, beit another marathon, dance lessons, music... Work hard to be a well-rounded man and to push yourself in areas you've neglected in the past - physical, social, spiritual. Then find what is pleasing and set out to make it a hobby/passion for you and you alone.
You'll have an unbreakable connection with W in your D3. In you contacts with her (Ex: pickup, dropoff of D3) act 'as-if' things are excellent positive, as if she's coming back to you tomorrow and you are happy about that. Try different approaches, DB techniques, and journal either here or on paper to note what works, leaving aside what doesn't.
Her anger will subside. May take 3-4 months but it will. Stay positive, stay up, and let her mourn the lost of her M (even tho she's the one trying to kill it). Support her with a blanket of unconditional love without stating your love for her directly. I found in my sitch, that my academic W truly doubts herself as a mother, and bright DB women like Jo gave me the wonderful advice to compliment her successes as a mother. It works! Her self-esteem is increasing, depression lightening, and she's contacting me more, with some initial glimpses of a friendship.
Wrestle with this thought: Do you want the M or your R with W?
Get more familiar with DBing especially by re-reading the DR text, and then start out by posting some specific goals here, letting folks help you to clean them up.
