Hi Rob. Sometimes the cheating SP gets a clue and wakes up. I did. The real wake up call came for me when I realized I had lost my H. He was through with me. My eyes were open I can tell you that. I was no longer numb inside. I was a mess of emotion and numb was nowhere to be found even though I craved it.
I can tell you what my H did for weeks and I thought it was all over. I can't necessarily recommend that it would work for everyone, but it was definitely what I needed to see the light.
Detach. Cut off contact as much as possible. GAL. Make her feel that she is losing you. As much as possible stop financially supporting her, at least as far as spending money goes.
I really think the key is to do whatever you have to do in order to REALLY make her see that you're done putting up with her nonsense. Make her see that it WILL be either you or him, without ever saying a word. And be really careful about wavering back and forth on this because you don't want her to know that you're really undecided inside.
A cheater's worst enemy is their own mind. The less you say the more they think. The more they think the more the come back to reality.


"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."

- Nathaniel Hawthorne