Just Married Last Year and W Wants To Call It Off

[Rob904]

Any of you out there ever have one of those days where you want to put your WAS and the other person in a small box, then put that box in a cannon, and then aim the cannon at the moon? OK...note to self...must improve thought stopping technique...

It's very hard to apply DBing priciples when it feels as if the WAS is using you. Just to give you a bit more context on my situation, my wife and I have been together for 6 years, marriage going on currently 1.5 years. She has not had a job for close to 2 years. I can definitely tell you that she has "motivational" issues (boy I hope she doesn't find this forum). About 4 months ago, she said she wanted to try and pursue a career in acting. She told me that there was a play in New York that was holding open auditions and she wanted to try out for a part in it to get some initial "experience". So I agreed to this, and paid for the airfare and the hotel stay of one week. Little did I know at the time, she was also using the trip to meet the OM for the first time. So basically, I FUNDED AN AFFAIR!!! I feel so stupid and used everytime I think about it...

So fast forward to present day. My W and I still live together, and she is still in contact with this OM. She tells me that she feels so numb inside that she doesn't feel like doing anything productive. She hasn't looked for a job, and basically I'm the one cleaning up after EVERYTHING.

The point I'm trying to make is this. I find it very hard to apply DB principles for someone that makes me feel used. I am also not blind to the fact that I brought some of this onto myself. It does take two to tango, so I do realize that I contributed to her present state as well. And as far as communication, it's very hard to communicate with someone that does the same thing day in, day out. I have really tried to improve the communication between us, but when there is nothing new to talk about, what do you say? I really can't talk about our relationship either because that's a DB no-no for those applying LRT approach.

I'm afraid of where this is going. At first, I was so scared of losing her. Now I'm scared for a different reason. I'm scared I may be falling out of love with her. I just hope that this feeling passes...