What he has done in the past is criticise every little thing I do with them until I go near on crazy.
What ever I do with thm just isn't good enough and last time around he was giving them messages to pass on to me, I was crying in front of them, we were fighting over them the whole time.
I was upset, they were upset. He wanted to know everything I did in the house, all the time. If I did something he didn't like, immediate criticism.
I just couldn't handle it and was starting to get depressed again. I was fed up of DD4 always seeing me in tears, so I flipped and told him to get out of my life an stay out and if he thought I was that bad a mother, I wasn't going to bother.
He tells me that was nearly 2 years ago, that he has changed now, that he wouldn't do that - but even in the better times, he still wouldn't let me get involved with their home ed or have any say in anything. He was still criticising me, it was just less than usual because we were seeing each other.
If I were to take him up on his offer, how do I know that he wouldn't just do all that again and drive me nuts?
He says he won't. He says for me to trust him. He says we are not in court anymore and things are different now.
I am not convinced. I have seen subtle changes in his behaviour, but not enough to make me think the contact would be any easier.
So I see them when he comes round here, don't take part in anything much at all and hope that it all goes okay. I don't really expect anything much from my mother role.
If I can figure out how to believe that he's changed and he would encourage my relationship with them, well, that is the key to improving things for my family.
