Re my H and our SL. The main difference between mine and other cases is that when my H left, he never quit our SL. We continued a SL as if we were together.
It stopped for a few weeks here and there when we were in court and when I went to the states, and I had a year 'dark' where he had an OW, so I didn't sleep with him then (I in fact had several 1 night stands during that year).
Then I split him and OW up after he came to me, admitting he missed me etc. He said he loved my sex and 'no one else does it like you' (his words) and that every time he was with OW, he just pretended it was me.
Up until a month ago, we were having a proper relationship which included a very good SL. I mean it, the sex was amazing - best I've ever had in my life, tons better than in the M.
Even just being in the same room with him makes my heart beat faster, that is how good it is.
But then he backtracked again and because I've been allowing him to have an SL with me for 2 years out of these 3, I came to the conclusion that he took it for granted that I always would and therefore could treat me badly because he'd always get sex anyway.
Therefore I decided not to be physical at all until he commits properly.
This is difficult for me, as I am a physical person and I show love through sex, like men do, so I find this really lonely, but it's 180 for our R and to me I have to at least try it.
I am slightly worried about him going off with another woman just for sex, but likewise, he has 3 of our kids full time, he is broke financially - I know he doesn't have women stacking up to see him and hypothetically, if he DID have sex with someone, it would just be meaningless sex.
He has told me he loves me, a couple of months ago and he's already said that sex with me is amazing, etc so I am not MASSIVELY worried as, like he said, 'No one else does it like me'
He does still compliment me on my clothes and say I look nice etc and I am positive in response to him and I am always welcoming if he initiates a conversation, but I just don't want to give him everything I've got until I have a firm commitment to our R.
Jo
(who thinks he is as amazing as what he says about me, and I know from experience, no one else does it like him )
