Lulu is my dd, in case you're wondering about the title!
I have an update. I saw H and dd's today. It wasn't supposed to be until later but then he rang me while I was eating my breakfast and asked to come over NOW.
I panicked and said I'm not dressed, not ready, blah blah, so you'll have to wait. Threw some clothes on, cleared away the breakfast pots, swept the floor and tidyed away the newspapers in the living room.
DD was dancing to 'Zorba the Greek' (hilarious to watch ) so she wouldn't get dressed.
When they turned up, Zorba the Greek was still on
I ignored H and went to get dd's clothes. Yesterday was BOILING so I picked out shorts and T shirt but when I went to dress her, H says the weather has cooled off again and it's only 14 degrees outside, so I went in search of jeans which is difficult as she's outgrown most of her clothes.
Eventually found some winnie the pooh jeans so I brought them in and asked H to dress dd.
Then I got a bag of second hand clothes that a friend gave me for my other dd's and I showed them the clothes and asked which ones they wanted. They wanted all of them aside from this skirt and blue jumper they didn't like.
Then H asked me about the IVF and was I like a donor or was it for me? I felt like saying 'Yeah, H, I'm so fed up of you, I've decided to get pregnant in a laboratory rather than sleep with you!'
But of course I didn't say that. We can but dream, huh?
I told him I was the donor for 2 couples. He asked what the injections are for so I told him about the one to shut down my ovulation and the other to make me produce more eggs.
He noticed that I have deleted his name off the login on my computer and he said
'You've taken me off.'
I said
'Yes, you're not using my computer now so there's no point your name being there.'
Then he and dd's left and they will be back later so I will report more then.
Considering we'e been fighting over the kids for days, it went okay.
Good to see that you're up with a new thread. I like the title!
I laughed at your description of DD4 dancing. I really enjoy it when S5 helps me to get lost in his childishness, playfully dancing or locked in makebelieve. Those times are so priceless.
Does seem like things got a little touchy for bit. It also seems like you're doing a nice job of setting boundaries. He does seem to keep pressing, but being an intelligent person, he CAN learn to respect another's boundaries/rights, and so I hope you keep up with this. Kids often protest/tantrum more when a parent starts to discipline. Yet things quiet when the kids 'gets it' that the parent will be consistent. Adults aren't much different, and I'd bet (if I were a betting man ) that he'll learn to appreciate this consistency in you.
Gabriel, what free time!?! I don't have much free time. I was continuing with a mailout and did millions up to L in the alaphabet, which is all I did for hours.
Then H turned up again and I answered the door loaded with envelopes and gave them to him, saying 'post these on your way out.' He said 'Oh, thanks' (sarcastic tone of voice). Took dd in, shut the door.
Do you think that was mean enough?
He will be round Wednesday to take her camping for 8 days so I will be on my ownsome then.
I have that university research on one day, IVF clinic on another day, my book to finish completely and my web design course on another day. Plus 1 day I have to set aside for shopping/errands and taking my photos to be developed (so I can put more pics of the girls on my website) - so that's at least half the time they are gone, used up.
The rest of the time I shall have to see if I can visit friends, or something.
Today I also signed up for a LAW DEGREE!!!! (starts February 06) so TAG, Qoe and Ellie - if he screws me in court again, I can be my own lawyer!
Of course by the time I've finished my degree, dd1 will probably be doing her GCSE's
Way to go, Jo!!! I'm proud of the fact that you're being proactive rather than allowing him to push your buttons. I think you'll find that after he gets used to the idea that you're not going to play his game anymore, that he'll actually respect you more for it.
Also, maybe by taking the law classes, you'll find a way to fight for more time with your DDs and he will have less control over you and them. Good goals.
I'm curious though, why did you just mention the one DD in your thread title?
My 3rd dd, the 5 year old, is Lucia and she technically lives apart from me since she lives with him.
Her nickname is Lulu or Lu and there's this kid's programme on TV called Andy Pandy and two other characters called Looby Lu and Teddy and I used to call H and dd3 Andy Pandy and Looby Lu for fun
PS: and there weren't any characters in the TV programme with names like my other dd's (Jacinta, aged 9, and Jerrica - commonly known as Jerri, aged 7).
There's an ols saw that says sonething like"She who acts as her own attorney has a fool for a client" That shouldn't deter you from ending the abusive treatment though.
I can't believe there is no 'Andy Pandy' in the States!
It's big here - in fact, it was on TV when me and Andy were small.
There's children's books as well and my dd4 has two books, 'Andy Pandy and the big spring clean' and 'Andy Pandy and the chocolate eggs.'
Andy Pandy and the chocolate eggs is her favourite story because she says that's a book about her daddy and it used to be Lulu's favourite story as well.
She's even got an 'Andy Pandy' song on CD - 'oh, look children, there's Andy Pandy playing on his swing!' That has me in fits of laughter every time I hear it because I imagine Andy dressed in a blue and white jumpsuit, playing on a swing
In fact, on Lulu's last birthday, I bought her a HUGE Looby Lu doll, and Looby Lu is a blonde girl, similar to her! She did used to be blonde too but it's gone mousey coloured now.
My own lawyer was rubbish, and the one I had before her was even more so.
I learnt never entrust your life to another person, even a professional, so I'd rather look out for my own interests if I was trained enough.
Hopefully it won't come to that though. I just have to be tougher with him and then perhaps he will respect me and my role as mother of his children more.
) so she wouldn't get dressed.
so I will be on my ownsome then.