Quote: So, you make an appointment for yourself with your doctor to discuss the issue and look for a remedy. Been enjoying your posts a lot, Lou.
I wanted to work on this as a team with the same Dr., not two seperate cases where someone passes the blame to someone or something else. I do a lot of internet searches and work with BB on the internet printouts.
So you have enjoyed my posts. Well I haven't much. Reason 1. is I want to have more improvements than I/we have, 2. I think some of my posts are petty/frustrating, adults should be able to work things out faster and better than I have, 3. some people are ahead of where we are and they have been here a shorter time, 4. some people here have more serious problems and seem more dedicated to their spouse than I am (csw) and, 5. I am so far behind in my work it is becoming a big problem.
Don't take that as criticism, a judgment, or as me giving up. I do like to read all of your post to anyone you post to. Others here are insightful and skilled writers. I would never have guessed a year ago there would be so many empathetic posters.
RE Lost Gal
Quote: re the UTI, might like to try the dentist first, often the drs dont think of that, but a gum condition or bumb tooth is an systemic infection looking to happen. Ask her if its the same infectious agent or is she "getting so lucky" and having a bumb imune and catching everything. If it is the same cold like agent, make sure you dont have it too. Just because the openings are close during sex dont mean that's how shes getting it. The kidneys clear so much junk from the body, medicine included, that lots of things can show up there. Infact the PH value of the urine can be a problem in itself. Talk with her, learn TOGETHER if you can.
No gum problems. BB is up on her dental procedures. Just getting older and more prone to UTI's is her opinion. Same agent? I ask what bacteria the clinic found. She said the test did not specify a type of bacteria, just that bacteria was found and she won't ask to have it named. Today she took a pain pill and the test was only able to find blood cells in the urine. The pills interfeared with the bacteria detection.
We have been working together more, just not getting any concrete answers. The lack of pinning this down could be another way BB can legally and medically avoid sex, who knows? All I know I feel so bad that it keeps happening to her (and us) sometimes I think about becoming a monk. Like I said to someone else, " get one problem fixed, another one shows up."
First you buy something for $50, then you play with it for a while, and finally you take it to the donation store and they sell it for $.50. I guess that is what you do when you buy too much.
Feeling detached because of the frequent UTI's, BB's insistance I get rid of my business inventory, she is right, some does have to go.
May be to your benefit to give it away and take a tax break at the $50/$0.50
It is very easy to think of all the spare parts involved in keeping puter stuff up and running. maybe the pre w95
stuff should go or are some businesses still on 3.1?
Lou, on HP's thread you indicated all the reasons a guys identity may be attached to his job. 24/7 may not be as hard since you work on site. But is your clientel good enough to carry expenses and put some money on the table?
Is BB wanting your time? Lou, think this thru and from all sides. My dad couldnt retire, so he started something small yet proffitible like a hoby, think about it pls....
Last edited by LostGal; 05/29/0512:40 AM.
Pity me that the heart is slow to learn
What the swift mind beholds at every turn.
Edna St. Vincent Millay
LG I could, but wanting to be honest just in case I ever get audited, I would to put the value at about what the donation store sold the item for, not what I paid. That is how things work if you donate a car.
Quote: Computer and Windows 95 and 3.1
Not much computer stuff LG. some business have W98 and W2000. Most have networked W2000 or XP operating systems ( connected together by wires or wireless devices) but I deal with the laser printers. Computer technology changes faster than printer technology so my stuff sticks around longer, but I still have some/too many almost obsolete parts in stock.
A man's self worth and his job for some men. Lg, you said because you were not a boy, sometimes you felt "less than" what ever. I grew up with out much attention and felt I did not belong very much to the family I was born in to. When I started working as an auto mechanic, all of a sudden people, even strangers, seemed happy to be around me. They called all of the time and wanted "MY Opinion." A complete shift from when I was in school. I had become someone, a mechanic.
So when I could not work because of the back injury, I lost my internal idenity for a while. It was like I am not a mechanic any more, so I am back to being almost worthless or I used to be a $20,000 man and then post back injury I became a $8,000 man. Big loss to the ego LG.
I never counted what I was worth as a H or a dad pre injury. Both of those roles ment I had to provide things and money to someone else. Being a dad and a H post back injury were now an addtional liability. Pre injury they were something to be proud of at least a little bit.
Quote: But is your clientel good enough to carry expenses and put some money on the table?
I could make enough $$$$ with half of my customer base (the good ones) because I don't spend much money on myself.
I guess the newest problem is I worked so hard for so long, it seems silly to quit now or in the near future. I am kind of like a minor character from the old TV series "Rich Man, Poor Man" The old Baker that lived above his store. The only thing he brought home to eat from the shop were things that were old or didn't sell in the shop. He always lived with out many luxeries. Add to that, he saved all of his life and never felt comfortable spending his nest-egg.
Quote: My dad couldnt retire, so he started something small yet proffitible like a hoby, think about it
LG I can retire, Never imagined I could till I would be 67 or older. Now my retirement is plan is funded ahead of time but I have been a plow horse for so long, it is taking a while for me to realise I don't need to plow any more. I still get up every day and wonder "how many acres CAN I plow today?"
LG, You were not a boy and had or have trouble feeling female. Well I always worked, and sometimes dreadfully hard, now I can be a slacker but have not learned how to be out of work, eventhough I can do it. I guess it's the same mentality the 90 year old senators have, work till you drop. Any of this make sense LG?
I have some ideas about things I would start doing if I retire early but BB has other Ideas. Guess I will see what works and be a little more independent.
Even though we are only nearing 50, MrsNOP and I have paid for everything we own, and we have been debt free for a few years now. It feels good.
We could afford a 10,000 square foot house, but what the hell would we do with it?
So, we have a nice 3,500 sq ft home with some acres, a big storage building and an extremely well equipped 2,100 sq ft workshop.
If we lost our savings/investments/pension, we could still get by on $1,500/month. As long as we are mobile, we can make that by working a couple of days a week in the shop, making small pieces.
So, there is our plan and a backup.
Like you, we don't plan to ever stop working, even though we do plan to slow down some soon.
I don't think either one of us could ever just sit and wait to die, whiling away our time in a tube induced haze.
As long as there is something new to learn, or something to challenge my mind, I am good to go.
Maybe it is time for you to just change direction a bit. No reason to give up your identity.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
Quote: we have a nice 3,500 sq ft home with some acres, a big storage building and an extremely well equipped 2,100 sq ft workshop.
Nice house and "COOL" shop ( a guy thing).
Quote: If we lost our savings/investments/pension, we could still get by on $1,500/month.
Yes, "If" you dont have to pay for health insurance and have good health. My sister and her H pay out something like $800 a month for health insurance. They live near New Jersey.
Quote: As long as there is something new to learn, or something to challenge my mind, I am good to go.
Nop, I am not a farmer but if I stopped by a farm and the guy/woman was good at raising pigs, I could listen and learn to be a pig farmer. I could do the same with old or new airplanes, train locomotives, bridges, geology, oil field work, and on and on. Also include the history of just about anything. Somany people do not think much about the steps involved that led to what we have now.
When you grew up with an outhouse and a hand pump in the yard, carried water into the house to drink, cook, and wash in, Indoor plumbing still has my attention. It is not exciting but I do think how it works and what is going on when I turn on the tap. Of course I did part of the plumbing work when I had my house built in 1974.
Same thought process goes on in my mind when I drive the car (engine turning, spark plugs firing, which gears are turning in the transmission, apply the brakes and what is moving in the brake's hydraulic system. borring? sorry! It's not to someone who works on the stuff, just part of the job for so long. You have to know what is going on before you can fix it).
Quote: Maybe it is time for you to just change direction a bit. No reason to give up your identity.
I have no problem with trying new things or changing direction, just BB's ideas of "THROWING AWAY" or giving away good inventory, be it a little bit old and is grating on my nerves. But, then again she over states many things. So I guess if I make enough progress every week, BB might not pressure me with her "Dump It/Heave Hoy" attitude.
I am looking for a buyer for the business, considered selling it piece-meal on eBay, or training someone who has a minor physical handicap so they have a way to earn money.
Also some of the things I want to do, BB is not so enthused about them. I am starting to see some seperate trips/vacations in the future. Not exactly DB'ing steps.
The animals are a great excuse, but seperate vacations have been the norm here. It lets you find yourself a bit and relax without the pressures coming from the other. (or not coming from the other in my case) You'll find out how much you want to be home when you turn to come home, even if its a day at a local fishing hole. Sometimes there is such an ache more than I had a nice day and I don't want it to end.
Then again it might be, well went to that lake, went to that State and looked around a bit, and I miss home and its ups and downs and you cut your week stay to 5 days only.
You will beable to use the input for descisions and reflection. Even if you DB, some of the issues may get clearer.
Pity me that the heart is slow to learn
What the swift mind beholds at every turn.
Edna St. Vincent Millay
At my new job I sell laser printers, printer network cards, (gasp) dot matrix printers, plotters, thermal printers, etc all day long. We are talking old stock here, some of it is really old (apple, hp, DEC, epson, tektronix, etc). If you have parts, toner or what not, list it on ebay, and it will sell! If you don't feel like selling it yourself, email me (subtract junk), and lemme know what you have. forgedjunkcu@yahoo.com
Quote: You will beable to use the input for descisions and reflection. Even if you DB, some of the issues may get clearer.
I am concerned if I went on vacation by myself, I might not want to come back as a refreshed H. I just might want to turn around again and do more by myself. It might make BB miss me, but I am not counting on anyone but my self. That is all I have to work with.
I have been at this DB stuff for a year and the resentment between us has cooled, but I still don't feel much closer emotionally. Seems like after one layer of the onion is peeled away and fixed, things look better for a while and then I discover more rot / decomposition to the basic R that I would like to have. It seems some of my trying is not measuring up and I am seeing some things I want are not going to change to what I want.
BB was telling one of her friends "If your H comlains about your dog and wants you (the W) to not have a second dog, get rid of the H. It was not said directly to me, but it still hurt or maybe some true feelings were being restated. That is about the 5th. time I heard it. Who knows?
My plan for now is to junk out the least salable printer items I have, maybe donate one van to the donation store, sell one car, get another car ready to sell, and do more work on the bathroom/bedroom. Some of her shopping spree items are up for grabs too.
Pets and relationships I posted most of the article in case it does not show up because of restrictions to access.
Quote: Men, listen up! Women who own pets are more inclined to date or marry a man who also owns a pet. But before you run out and get a dog or cat, know this: Fully 56 percent of women say their pets are more affectionate than their partners. That's the startling conclusion of a BizRate Research survey of 901 pet owners. Hey, that's not all! About 45 percent of women say their pets are cuter than their partners.
When it comes to pets, women spoil them. Big time. In this study, women said they had a deeper emotional connection with their pets than men did. Fully 99 percent of the women acknowledged that they frequently talked to their pets, versus 95 percent of men, and an astonishing 93 percent of women think that their pets communicate with them, versus 87 percent of men. "The most loving thing we can do for our pets is to understand them better and learn their language," Jackie Hakim, founder, Healing Arts Dog Training, said in a news release announcing the study findings. "Our furry friends come wired in a certain way and being considerate of that can be the building block to a successful relationship."
This is how much we love our pets: Approximately seven in 10 pet owners report their pets make them happier than their jobs. And that translates into dollars. Pet owners are spending big bucks on all-natural dog food, sweaters, diamond-studded collars, booties, doggy day care, dog ophthalmologists, spas, and endless other goods and services. Women are inclined to spend about $50 to $100 a month, somewhat more than men are willing to spend.
This is odd: Fully one-third of pet owners would consider taking their pet to a pet psychic, groomer, or therapist. "While the majority of my clients are women, more pet owners are seeking deeper relationships with their animals," said pet psychic Patrice Ryan, Celestial Crystals, Inc. "The difference is, men come to me for more critical situations such as a lost or sick pet. Women want to know if their pet is happy and comfortable."
I know BB is one of those women in this last paragraph.
