What do I do with outings? Do I ask him to go? Or just inform him of our plans? I would just tell him what you are planning and then leave it up to him if he wants to join you or not.
Do I ask if he is coming back for dinner? Or just wait for him to inform me? I would just make dinner like you normally do and if he is there he joins you, if not you eat without him.
Do I call him and ask him about his day at work? Or just wait till he calls me, and then be nice and cheerful? I would wait until he calls you. I rarely call my H anymore. He does the calling most of the time.
Do I inquire about his work and stuff? I can ask questions? Except not those relating to our R and his OW? I do ask questions but my H usually tells me about his day. I would ask when you see him, if seems willing to talk, then asks questions. If he seems like he doesn't want to talk, then let it go. Take his lead on things for now.
Do I act as-if there was NO OW at all? Yes, I would. I know that is hard. I have no idea what the sitch is with the ow right now. I don't even check the cell phone bill. My H said he needed to end it slowly and his way. Yes, that was hard to swallow. But, I think this along with being loving and giving him space seems to be working. It is a slooooow road, but I see glimpse of my old H every now and then.
As I said before, I don't question anything. I know alot of people have a hard time with that, but it does seem to be working. He does call to let me know what he is doing. Like the book says, take the pressure off, completely off. It goes against our nature to do that, but it does seem to work.
This is just what I am doing at the moment and what is working for me. I haven't been GAL but focusing on my R with God. That is what has helped me get through this and has kept me going.
