I haven't posted in a while as things have been pretty much the same and nothing new to report, etc.

Last night was awful. H went to bed before me and I fell asleep on the couch watching TV and was awakened by his cell phone ringing at 2am! By the time I got to it I missed the call but it said "private" so I freaked out. I then checked his phone log and thought I saw ex-FF # and freaked more. Went into the bedroom and woke him up and accused him of talking with her. He had no idea what I was talking about. I feel like such a fool. I don't think the number was hers anyway. I just got all shaky after the phone ringing and it spiraled out of control.

Now, I think H is mad at me and if I'm accusing him of something he's not doing and brought up her name now will he call her, etc. I am so mad at myself right now.

The only saving grace in this is that he was drinking last night so he may not remember this.

I'm also wondering if my St. John's wort is losing it's affect on me after 3 years. I also started some higher antioxidant vitamins with more A and E and wonder if this is causes the herb to not work as well.

For now my plan is not to bring this up and if H does then I will apologize and say the 2am "private" call freaked me out and sorry about accusing him. I do not remember ex-FF using "private" during their friendship either.

Well, I've basically been up since 2am, arrived late to work and better getting going.

Any input or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,
SP

According to the Buddha, praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and sorrow may "come and go like the wind," but happiness comes if you can "rest like a great tree in the midst of them all."