I was catching up on some of your last posts. I agree that it is not worth your time to obsess over H's FF. I had a great session with my C last night. I'm beginning to work on my control issues within myself and then begin to apply them to my M. A big issue of control for me is obsessive thinking. I dwell on OW all the time and if I am not dwelling then I am trying to find ways to trash her in convos with my H. Not directly trash her but rather trash things that I know about her. I got this info from reading her blog page which I have since stopped doing. Bu basically any way that I could make her look bad, I would. Sneaky, stupid, and a complete waste of time.
My H finally called me on some of those things this morning while we walked into work together. He wasn't mad or judgemental, he just called me on it. I hate to have to admit that he was right and then I'm also insecure that he will bond with her at work or think that she is somehow better than me. Point is, while she may be a threat and is completely inappropriate, H is married to me and is working on making our M work. I need to show him that I can get over OW issue by moving away from talking about anything related to her. It's going to be hard but my C gave me a good method to try. She said for me to give myself 30 mins a day to obsess about OW. I must use the whole 30 mins to do this. Afterwards, I cannot think about her and to use any means necessary for thought stopping. Not only can I not think about her but I also can't do things like slam her in conversation.
I thought my C's suggestion was a great idea but I didn't see that it was absolutely necessary for the sake of my M until my convo with my H this morning.
