Thanks for your input I am going to try and re-read the WOA chapter tonight. It's hard because I am more introverted than H and I am not used to giving WOA. I hope by practicing I can get better at it and start to re-fill his empty tank
According to the Buddha, praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and sorrow may "come and go like the wind," but happiness comes if you can "rest like a great tree in the midst of them all."
Hi Everyone - I'm getting nervous. I have a work event of my H's to attend and I feel frumpy. I have some extra lbs. that I gained back from original bomb 2 years ago. Also the stress is causing me to break out and then nerves or something is causing me to pick at the breakouts.
I need a quick makeover of sorts. I don't even know what I will wear as my dressy clothes are a bit tight. I have about 10 lbs. to lose before I will feel better about my body.
A few positives: 1) Had a forwarded e-mail from H (no note but at least it was an e-mail) 2) H continues with AOSs and I am trying to give him WOA but what else besides "Thank you for doing X"??? 3) H showed me something from work that he wrote last night and I tried to give WOA
He is still very withdrawn/flat/mlc. I am wondering if he is in that revisiting of all stages of mlc that comes towards reconnection? I thought he was finished but now with this withdrawing again and no PT it makes me wonder?
Thanks for any and all feedback SP
According to the Buddha, praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and sorrow may "come and go like the wind," but happiness comes if you can "rest like a great tree in the midst of them all."
I've started a new thread in MLC called "Year #3: Detour back into the tunnel".
I think I need some mlc advice so I'll be over there for now...
Thanks for your input and feel free to visit me there
According to the Buddha, praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and sorrow may "come and go like the wind," but happiness comes if you can "rest like a great tree in the midst of them all."
A Quote for today: A bend in the road is not the end of the road...unless you fail to make the turn.
-Unknown
Some positives from the weekend:
1) H came with me to family event 2) We are making plans for 2 trips up to Jan. '06 3) I am getting into shape (slowly but surely) 4) Bought a pair of jeans today in a smaller size
According to the Buddha, praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and sorrow may "come and go like the wind," but happiness comes if you can "rest like a great tree in the midst of them all."
According to the Buddha, praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and sorrow may "come and go like the wind," but happiness comes if you can "rest like a great tree in the midst of them all."
According to the Buddha, praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and sorrow may "come and go like the wind," but happiness comes if you can "rest like a great tree in the midst of them all."
Well, things are going well with H right now. This morning he admitted that he hated his job (he's been there 6+ years and I think this contributed to his mlc, his past possible EA, his drinking, etc.). How do I go about helping him find a new job without becoming too controlling? In the past if I would say anything about the job being a factor in our problems he would get mad and say I was being negative. Is there a way I can assist him but not be seen as overbearing? He also said that he never sees me with this job (opposite schedules) and he is sick of it.
On another M/V question, I saw on the counter a piece of paper with a female co-worker's home and cell number. How do I question him about this w/o sounding accusing? It was not hidden and I have heard him mention this person.
We this am and are definitely on an upward swing so I don't want to come off as suspicious about the name and number but I also don't want to not bring it up.
Thanks for your feedback
According to the Buddha, praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and sorrow may "come and go like the wind," but happiness comes if you can "rest like a great tree in the midst of them all."
Hi SP1 - Just my two cents, if he hates his job and is open to moving on, it is highly unlikely that there is anything with a co-worker. I'd let it go, and wait for him to mention it if important enough. A huge leap of faith I know, but maybe better in the long run?
Hi Slowly - Thanks for your feedback. I think it makes sense and I will really try to hold off saying anything. I was in the process of the "24 hour" of not doing anything stupid. One of my pre-bomb problems was jealousy and always making mountains out of molehills.
I will focus on the positives and be open to giving him advice/help with the job switch as he asks for it
Have a nice night - is it bedtime there???zzzzzzzzzzzz
According to the Buddha, praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and sorrow may "come and go like the wind," but happiness comes if you can "rest like a great tree in the midst of them all."
If it REALLY bothers you, maybe while you are cleaning just ask "who is this? Do you still need it?" That way it is not an accusation, but rather "hey, can I get rid of this or is it important to you?" type of thing. But, be prepared to accept what he says.
I am going to try and re-read the WOA chapter tonight. It's hard because I am more introverted than H and I am not used to giving WOA. I hope by practicing I can get better at it and start to re-fill his empty tank 
this am and are definitely on an upward swing so I don't want to come off as suspicious about the name and number but I also don't want to not bring it up.
