Hi CFI... With your anniversary coming up, I would hold off on giving her the book. You could mention to her, since it's your anniversary, that you look forward many yrs of a happy marriage, and that you want to take a different approach and work with a therapist who is marriage focused, and she what she says. IOW, plant the seed, and later on, you can expand by saying you've done research and let her know about what MWD has to offer. I like the phone idea for you since you have been to several therapists...just doing something different might prevent burnout ( I can picture your W saying, " Not another therapist"). You have something new to offer ( along with that non-defeatist attitude).
As far as the negative feelings...I am an emotional person and struggle with this myself. Personally, I think it's normal and healthy to have a range of feelings...the trick is not to let the negative ones interfere with your ultimate goals. So sometimes I feel my feelings, other times I distract ( go walking, call a friend, do something fun, etc)...but I don't lose sight of where I am going. I also remember a phrase my mom always said.. " this too shall pass" and MWD talks about not getting too caught up in feelings, that they are temporary. Lastly, Lillieperal has had some positive results reaching into her feelings using the book Undefended Love, and I stand by my recommendation of Passionate Marriage, which is such a refeshing read...he talks about "self-soothing" when you are feeling anxious.
