At the beginning

[nightrunner]

I can't recall if you said you had read Undefended Love or not. If not read it! When you are feeling sad or down, pick it up and read it some more. BTW, from your posts, you and I sound very similar. I can get very defensive when I feel wronged or slighted by my wife. The problem is even greater if you have a wife like mine who can also get very defensive and feel wronged very easily. Then you get caught in the avalanche of who's hurt more and who can be more pissed off. The book helped me a great deal and I am about to reread it again.