I relayed to you guys yesterday the gist of our counseling session...which was a toughie! I believe I've mentioned before that I HATE it when I end up crying #1 because I hate to break down in front of people, #2 because I hate that someone I love is hurting me to the point that I do break down....and #3, least importantly I hate that my nose turns beet red and I get all puffy when I cry
Anyway...yesterday during our session I did. Apparantly (although you couldn't tell during our session) this really bothered my H. Our C did mention his discomfort, I guess he was a bit visually uncomfortable....but it came across more as defensive in appearrance....anyway she did mention it...and also mentioned that he made no effort whatsoever to try to comfort me. To be fair I can kind of understand why he might not have as well....I mean, I had pretty much worked my way into the corner on the couch in a way to distance myself from him since he was hurting me....I don't think I could have gotten much further away from him and still been on the same piece of furniture...unless I'd crawled under a cushion.
Anywhoie! My H is on night shift right now...so we didn't speak at all again until he returned home last night around 11:30pm. He came in, climbed in bed next to me pulled me over to him and just kind of held/hugged me for a bit. Finally he told me how sorry he was that he made me cry, that it really bothered him and that he'd been thinking about that all afternoon/evening.
Now this is not something my H would normally do. Sure, he might think about it quite a bit, but I'd never know about it because he'd never give me any indication it even crossed his mind. I really appreciated the gesture, especially since our main portion of our conversation in our C's office was regarding....him not communicating his thoughts or feeling to me and leaving me in the dark.
So, the weekend is coming up....I feel a bit of stress released from the past couple of days and I'm a bit more back to my normal, up-beat, somewhat twisted, and in general optimistic self.
