Boots best post
Well, let's see. I tried telling him I was unhappy; I tried the silent treatment. I tried yelling. I tried bribery. I tried being as kind and generous and loving to him as I possibly could, in hopes that he'd do the same. I tried detaching and not expecting anything from him. I tried telling him exactly what I wanted and gave him an incentive for doing it. I tried making it more attractive for him to stay home and communicate with me than for him to go out. I tried getting him involved in things I like to do; I tried getting more involved with what he liked to do. I went for counseling; I paid for both of us to go to marriage counseling, where he clammed up and refused to participate. I tried to get him to go for counseling alone. I talked to his family about my concerns. I wrote him email. I made to-do lists. I talked to him. I listened to him. I used "I" statements: when you do this, it makes me feel X. I told him that our realtionship was in serious trouble and that if things didn't change, I would leave him.........I also liked Men and women are not from Mars/Venus, we are from Earth.........that is one way to sell books. (The condensed version)
I guess I have more work to do. I was wanting BB to read some of the books we on the forum talk about. I guess I was wrong again.
Lil. It looks like one has to read the posts 3 times. Once from the guys perspective. Once from her perspective. and once trying to sooth each persons pain and try to help them. I know the guy asked for help so he could understand his WAW, then it seemed some of the guys tried to offer some words to make Boots less angry.
It sounded like Boots was never turning back and some of the guys were still in the salvageing mode.
If I thought Boots was around I would say 50 is not over the hill. I know of one couple in their late 60 that are so perfect together and I think this is her only relationship she has had in 30+ years. Rare maybe but it does happen.
I mainly posted to say I try to get it from others point of view. I know I don't see some of the female POV in some posts. Thanks for including the link.
Lil i read one of your post about sheets. Just wanted to add
I also like 300+ thread count sheets. Another good bed product is Nova foam 2.5" thickness "Memory" foam mattress topper Just sharing what seems like "have to have items". The toppers really make the bed so much nicer to lay in. Back to the main topic.
RE:HairDog They just get stored in a big closet labeled, "Resentment," which eventually fills up to the bursting point So true.
GEL I really hope you can make an impression on your H that lasts. I copied what Boots said she did to remind us that there are so many options eventhough we think we have used many already. The "not feeling like we are getting through" is a tough position to be in.
