Hi all...and thanks for the support and kind words.
Yes, he knows the specific things I need him to work on. That's where quite a bit of my frustration comes in...I'm not asking for the world, but he steps completely around those specific things I've stated I need. He still persists doing things for me that are his love languages....not mine....and while I can see he's attempting to show me he loves me, and can appreciate the fact that he's trying in that manner....the fact remains he's doing it in the manner that he needs (acts of service)....not in the manner I need, and this has been explained to him countless times by me and our C.
Oh and Hairdoggie...thanks for the wise words. Getting my feelings/thoughts out has been something I have been working on for myself over the past 1.5 -2 years....and I am much better at it now. I guess right now I feel I have nothing to lose either by just saying what I feel at the time I feel it....what's he going to do? Walk out the door? Well, if she should do that....then I've done all I could. I don't say things to be mean....and in fact do edit things in my mind before they come out in order not to be unintentionally cruel or mean when I don't intend to be....even though I may be thinking something that could just cut him to the core....cuz let me tell you, some of the things I've been thinking would be far from productive!!! But that's not me.
On the upside my H did finally take some action last night...he did finally initiate (although he did wait til the last minute). I'm happy he did do this, but to be honest...I'm not getting my hopes up. He's done this before...I break down, lay things on the line for him....then he finally does something....then goes right back to where he was before.
We'll see what happens.....I'm not threatening him with a D, or at least I don't feel I'm threatening, because I do keep telling him I don't want that (and I don't)....but I do keep reiterating to him that I cannot live this way....it just takes too much out of me. I guess what I feel I'm doing at this point is giving him a slap in the face of reality....."if" he doesn't step up, "if" he continues to ignore my needs, then he will be facing the consequences of his inaction. I'm still hoping that doesn't happen....and damn! I'm trying to give this man every opportunity to do SOMETHING!
I also explained to him yesterday (don't know if I posted this or not), when he told me he would "fix things" again....that "that's fine, you've told me that before....I've told you what I need, you haven't done those things yet and I can't make you do those things, I don't want to make you, you have to make up your mind whether you want to do them or not, it's up to you."
I'm doing a bit better today....things just piled up on me yesterday....I felt like was being stalked by Murphy!!!
