I believe anyone who is HD married to an LD spouse has had the same thoughts we have, what we are thinking is perfectly normal.
The problem I'm currently experiencing, is that my H does "appear" to be participating....but only to the extent that he is comfortable with...and that right there my friend is where we get stuck. He just doesn't stick his little toe (or whatever) across that invisible line that separates what he's doing in our R from what I need him to do...he remains in his comfort zone. Sure he does some things that I used to think were efforts on his part...and to some extent they absolutely were...but they were efforts he was comfortable making....not really attempts at addressing the problem, merely attempts at placating me for a time.
This past week or so during our vacation and the few days following I realized it's time to shake things up a bit again...it's time for him to get a reality check again. He was becoming comfortable in the fact that he was going to a C with me, talking a bit, and doing some small things affection-wise....so I must be ok with things now.....which obviously I'm not.
So right now...were at a point where our communication has really improved....but we're stuck at a point where he won't really go that extra to do what it will take to really fill my needs. And at this point the ball is in his court....all I can do is encourage him.
