I don't think it's a carrot so much as his own performance anxiety. MrH is like this. When he knows that he's supposed to be ravishing me, he clams up and feels incredibly stupid and inept. He thinks he doesn't know what he's doing and that he looks foolish when initiating. It is truly initiation-phobia--it's that strong in him. I suspect that MrLass has a little (or a lot) of this going on. He is fine once it gets going, but it's almost always exclusively YOU getting it going. My H would almost rather scrap the whole deal than put his neck on the line, sexually, and GO FOR ME. When he does initiate, he is usually shy and awkward and smiling, etc.
We had an interesting convo the other night in which he related that he was "conceited" in high school. He is not attending his 20 yr reunion this year and I was asking him why not. I told him that all teenagers were and are conceited--it's part of the adolescent mindframe...the world revolves around me, etc. It's very easy to go from there to "the world revolves around me and, oh yeah, I'm a babe too.." It's nothing to be ashamed of--you just grew up, is all. From his stories he's told me he was a completely normal teenager.
So I find it interesting that this conceited guy has turned into a quivering mass of jelly. Either it is as JJ says, and men are completely unnerved by female sexual desire, or there is something unnerving about ME and I turn guys LD.
At any rate, it might be something worth talking about...Did you feel awkward when you saw me in the robe? Did you feel afraid of what was expected of you? How can I ease this anxiety? Etc.
