First I'm going to say...I'm gonig to do a bit of venting here simply because I need to. Second, I'm going to state that I do believe this is temporary but right now I'm frustrated...as we all become at times.
It had been a few weeks since our las sexual encounter....and lets just say, this last one was definitely not one for my memoirs! Over the last few weeks it seems that he's doing the typical move back into the old behavior routine. Not that he's behaving completely like he did in the past...he's still doing better in the communication areas....but sexually speaking he's really not putting any effort at all in.
The other evening we were sitting watching one of the movies we had rented, I was freshly bathed, sitting in a red sating robe wearing his favorite perfume.....and all I heard was man I have a headache. Sure, he very well could have...he'd been outside all day and has allergies. So I suggested he take something, even offered to get him something....he said that he hadn't eaten much all day and wanted to see if eating dinner took care of it first. Fine. But 3 hours later....when I finally looked at him and said something along the lines (and don't quote me on this I don't remember exactly what I said)...of "aren't you even going to touch me? Here I am sitting in YOUR favorite robe, freshly bathed, wearing YOUR favorite perfume and nothing. Now, I know....this isn't my normal diplomatic self....but hey! We all get tired of being the only one doing the persuing, I'm no different. He looked at me and said well yeah...."what brought that on?". So I repeated what I had said....and told him, the way you just sit there I can't even tell YOU notice I'm not sitting there in a pair of sweats. He reminded me again that he had a headache...to which I said..."yes, I'm aware of that....you told me that 3-hours ago when I suggested you take something for it." He shook his head in agreement and said "yeah, I did didn't I?" Not like yeah, well didn't you get the message? But more like....your right I did...and I've been sitting here an haven't done anything about it...hmmm! Kind of wondering himself why he hadn't taken anything.
To make a long story shorter....later on when we did go to bed he did initiate (definitely got points for that) but it was perhaps one of the most lackluster sexual encounters....no wait, correct that....it was THE most lackluster sexual encounter I've ever had. He did absolutely NADA in order to make sure I was satisfied....and the whole encounter lasted at the most 10 minutes. I was left lying there thinking...."what was that?" I know he can do better...he's done better with me, this time he made sure he got off....but did NOTHING for me. Now, I will admit that this was one of the only times I can think of that he was already hard when we started...so there appeared to be some sexual desire on his part.....but not a darned thing towards trying to please me or make sure I was satisfied too. It was really disappointing....and disheartening.
I swear....I'm going to go out and buy the man Kama Sutra for Dummies!
I know I'm going to have to address this with him, if this doesn't improve. But I'm hoping that this was a single event....and not a sign of things to come. We are getting ready to go away for a few days (back home to ABQ for my HS reunion) without our S....so I'm trying to hold back on saying anything until I see what the next time is like. If, the next encounter is as disappointing as this....I will definitely be saying something.....but how do you go about telling someone you love...."Honey, I know you can do better than that." without completely crushing someone sexually speaking. Of course....I've also thought that he may be thinking...."if I do something like this...maybe she'll stop asking", but my gut says it's not that.
Right now...I'm just a bit down about it. Like I said, this is a vent....and I know it's temporary....but Geesh!!!!
