You should try just sticking to one thread so we can find you.
It seems you took the advice not to block his calls. I think that is good. That's not LRT, that's more like "stay out of my life". The goal is more to be unavailable on occasion rather than inaccessible. But you also should be available on occasion also.
So what are the results with going dark? He pursues a bit? Do you answer some times and talk friendly? You need to be someone that is pleasant to be around and talk to.
The more I see and read on here I just wonder about "going dark and staying dark". Is this for everyone? My perspective is for those where any initiated contact is completely rejected that going dark seems good. But what if contact results in pleasant interactions/positives. Aren't we supposed to "do more of what works"? If a little contact results in positives I don't see why a little contact is "against the rules".
The assumption we all make is that our spouses/ex-spouses are going to start missing us and pine away. That certainly may happen, but in some cases maybe our spouses aren't the pursuing kind. Or maybe they percieve that our lack of communication indicates we are fine with the separation/divorce. Maybe more than making them miss us it pisses them off. Maybe going dark is just "more of the same" behavior and indicates that we haven't changed at all.
I guess I'm just saying...do what works....whatever that is. And now everyone can throw stones at me because I'm going around knocking the infamous going dark technique.
Wes
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
