On the issue of TV – its easy to get sucked in and watch hours of it. I am a night owl and H is a crack-of-dawn type. One problem we used to have was that I would watch TV until all hours of night, then go to bed and try to seduce him. He would, understandably, have none of it.

Now, I make it a point to go upstairs with him, usually a little after 10. This gives us some time to talk, cuddle and do other fun stuff. It was a bit of an adjustment to give up all those Law and Order and CSI shows, but once I got used to not seeing them, I didn’t miss them anymore.

GGB, my experience was that it was actually harder to get H to spend time with me than it was to get him to have sex. The sex frequency issue somehow got resolved with very little heartache, but when I pushed for him to spend time (I defined it as 10 minutes at bedtime), he pushed back big time. But I held firm and insisted on this. It was very awkward for a while, but we have now evolved to a point where it seems natural to head to bed together. If he is doing something on the computer, I wait for him or if I am finishing up some work in the kitchen, he will help me, and then we head upstairs together.

But it wasn’t easy to get there. I remember this one occasion when he came to bed, lay there like a board for exactly ten minutes and then fell asleep. One and a half hours later, I woke him up to ask him what was up, and said that all I wanted was a good night hug and kiss. That is when he made his famous statement, “Where are the divorce papers? I will sign them right now if you will just let me go to sleep.” LOL.

In retrospect, when we first resurrected our sex life, it was just sex. There was little intimacy until we resolved other issues and spent more time together.

Anyway, this is my long-winded way of saying – if you feel that you need to spend more time with her, and are feeling a lack of connection – push for it. Ultimately, it will enhance your relationship.

Julie