What if you were to say, MrsGGB I just don't feel that watching tv together is spending quality time. I'm having a hard time coming up with ideas on what we can do together. Can you help me think of some and then we'll plan on doing them once a week?
I think she needs to know that you are not going to start "forcing" her to ditch the tv, or the quilting or whatever. We all need our alone time..or our time that WE decide what we're going to do at that moment. As a stay at home mother, you know that her day is not dictated by her wants and needs at ALL. She is at everyone else's command and that's life, right. So at night she wants to do something for herself. I think if you could start easy, withi once a week, she would quickly see that "couple time" is fun for her as well and she looks forward to it also. The ME dialogue was enjoyable for her; what about setting a certain night aside just for that? I'm afraid that if you don't set the night in stone, it will get ate up in that great chasm known as Modern Day Family Life.
It was very hard for MrHP to wrap his mind around the concept that he needs to set time aside just for us. Like your wife, he fully expected that relationships just ran themselves after the first tumultuous years were over.
Like you guys, too, we sure wish we had more time together. It is so easy for the experts to say Spend 15 hours a week together but with little ones that is just so damned hard.
