Are some of you folks telling csw, the former LOW DRIVE csw, the former non-initiating low drive csw that he shouldn't be acting like a normal high drive man that is horny for his wife?
He isn't presenting needy or grabby, he is showing desire for a woman that has gone wayward, one of her primary needs and complaints being his previous demonstrated lack of desire.
I just want to make sure we are all on the same page here :-)
-NOPkins-
Last edited by NOPkins; 06/15/0502:09 PM.
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
I think I understood where he's coming from. He's trying to be aggressive with his sexuality, which is a bit of a 180 for him.
C, all you can do is try new things and see if anything positive comes from it. If not, try something else. If so, keep it up. I think your problem comes mainly in not being able to see the whole picture and that the positives are there, but not jumpin out at ya. We all suffer from that. If I were to step back and look at my own situation, I'm sure it would look a heckuva lot better than it does at times, when I'm in the thick of it, kwim.
C, you know her better than anyone and you will be able to tell when it is a Stop that means "I want you to continue but I have to say that in order to preserve my stance and my pride" or a Stop that means "I will get upset if you continue".
In the meantime, continue to GAL. Next time she's there, make sure you look good, smell good, and then leave and don't tell her exactly where you're going. Something like "I'm going out for a bit". Not exactly a lie, but so far you are an open book and there is no incentive for her to drag her ass off the fence.
I will continue to be more agressive sexually, but I will be cautious and take a good read of her reactions. She was laughing when she said not to kiss her knee, and that is why I did it again.
I am trying to be more mysterious, but it is tough. I am the type to share everything.....
My sexual pursuit is a bit selfish at this point, (it has been over 6 months!!!!!!!! )
BB asked about my proposal today. I told him I was working on it, and asked him a few questions. He liked the synopsis that I offered.
W is at SILs tonight, the usual Wed babysitting....
LP, I don't think W is acting like I repulse her, but she hasn't shown much interest.... Baby steps
Quote: My sexual pursuit is a bit selfish at this point, (it has been over 6 months!!!!!!!! )
I think selfish is a good thing in this context. The reason I used that adjective is that in the Updike novel I'm reading the main character recalls that the thing that drew him away from his first wife and towards his second wife was the fact that his second wife was selfish enough to want him bad enough to do what was necessary to get him. If you really, really WANT to have sex with your wife, then you have to be selfish enough to think along the lines of "I'll be damned if Mr. Squirrel is going to get my share of action.". If I was writing the SAT, I would say SELFISH is to WANT as DESPERATE is to NEED.
Though, what exactly you should do in your sich does perhaps depend on whether your W is a woman who is very HD no matter what (like me) or more situationally or relatively HD like many of the other CeMar shunning women on the BB. (NOTE to LP: The reason I am able to imagine enjoying sex with CeMar is, unlike many women, I can be pretty "object-oriented". Therefore, I can get turned on just by concentrating on a man's biceps in the same manner men can get turned on just by concentrating on breasts, for instance. I know it's not a very "nice girl" characteristic but that's how the Goddess made me. I read an interesting article recently that made the point that women who are object-oriented actually have more in common with gay men sexually than they do with other women.)
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Quote: When you say object-oriented are you talking solely about sexuality?
Yes, I am using the phrase as it was defined in "The Joy of Sex". Someone is "object-oriented" sexually if they can be turned on by sexual objects. For instance, if seeing a hard-on under a tight pair of Levis really works for you, then you are object-oriented. Many women aren't object-oriented at all. They need situational or romantic input in order to be turned on. Most men are pretty object oriented. That's where the female complaint that men treat them like sex objects comes from. Of course, object-oriented attraction can be pretty readily swamped out by negative situational or relational inputs. For instance, the real hunk who makes eye contact and approaches you at a party but then says "If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?". MrsHD obviously has a hard time realizing that HD regards her both as a sex object and a person he loves, thus her adamant objection to the obvious objectification of her breasts while she's sleeping.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Yes you are absolutely right. I am drawn to men who please my eyes but it can be thrown off track by stupidity. I would be turned off by the cheesy Rod Stewart pickup line, though I would view that person as totally hot but not worth my time. IOW, the fact that he's stupid diminishes his attractiveness but does not eliminate it.
Otoh, if the guy were saying the RS pickup line with a twinkle in his eye, ala Hairdog, and it was an obvious joke, I would find that an irresistable combination: a sense of humor and eye candy.
Hey I just described my husband. LOL Now if I could wrangle things so that the THIRD component--horniness of course--was present, I'd be in heaven. Horny, humorous and hot..doesn't get any better than that.
I agree also 100%. 
)
I read an interesting article recently that made the point that women who are object-oriented actually have more in common with gay men sexually than they do with other women.)