I know this wasn't the birthday you had wanted. It seems to me that guilt is working overtime on your W and she's working to resist you....I also suspect she's seen OM at some point recently and he's pushing her again.
I know this evening wasn't easy for you, it wasn't all bad by any means...but it wasn't what you wanted either. Try to take a step back, collect yourself, and put on that suit of armore one more time. Now is when you need to continue showing that consistently loving behavior toward her...her armore cracked before....it's going to crack even more next time, it's just waiting for that next time to roll around.
