Thanks SD & GEL!
W & I had a nice evening. We went out to eat at a nice restaurant, something we rarely did. Then we went to my folks house for cake. My mom made a VERY tasty carrot cake. My mom gave W a warm welcome, and they embraced several times throughout the evening.

Sadly, W kept her distance from me. Before dinner, she avoided my kiss like the plauge. After dinner, she told me she had a wine buzz, and I snuck a good kiss in. As we were getting ready for bed, I walked up to her, held her forearms in a loose embrace, looked into her eyes and thaked her for a nice evening. I went to kiss her and she backed away and said my name. I said "are you sying my name because you don't want me t kiss you?" She said" Let's just keep it simple" I said " There's nothing simple about this, what are yu trying to say?" She said " Let's just leave it that we had a good evening."

At that point, I fell apart a little bit, and left the room. I said goodnight and I went to bed. I couldn't manage to pull myself together. After laying there for almost an hour, I went into W's room, and asked if I could lie next to her. She asked if I was sad, and I told her I had been since our talk in the bathroom. She asked if I just wanted to lie next to her, I said I wouldn't try to kiss her. She moved over and sad I could join her.

She was asleep withing 3 minutes. I laid there for 1 1/2 hours, but couldn't sleep. (partly my head and partly the fact that it was unbearably hot in her room with the windows closed to the rain.) When I got up to close the rest of the windows (big storm) I went back to my room. I didn't want to disturb her, and couldn't stop feeling like I wanted her right then. She made it clear that wasn't an option.

I know it was a needy thing I did last night, but I was feleling particularly needy. She didn't see or hear me busting up. She DID say I could join her, which I think is a good thing, but her distance throughout the evening was a bit disturbing.

I don't know what her plans are for her BDay, she hasn't answered my question yet. It doesn't seem like I am going to be a part of those plans... but nothing is for certain yet.

I better drag myself to work with my baggedy eyes. The manager isn't there today, and the BM said that I can't work overtime. I wish I had arranged to go in late today, since I already had worked my lunches all week. now I am out those 2 hours