csw, I agree with NOP (gee, this is starting to be a pattern ). Look for another job, one with benefits, but don't quit the job you have.

Don't let yourself slip down that slippery slope into giving up. You've made great strides. You might consider starting a gratitude journal. Every day write down one thing to be grateful for. Make it a running list. Every day you have to add one new thing.

Don't analyze and fret too much. Just do what's on your plate in front of you.