Hi C, As an HDW, I had a hard time convincing my H that I was really this hot mama inside. It's like, in his mind's eye, he wanted to see me as this wonderful woman, great mother, etc, and (a whispered afterthought) oh yeah she likes to make love a lot. I wanted that last part to be right up there with the first. It is an integral part of who I am, and always has been. Inside I FEEL sensual. Married to H, I let that part of me slide as he had no interest in seeing it. It was VERY hard to convince him that I hadn't "grown out" of my sexuality in the way that he (supposedly) had. He seemed to view it as this "thing" I was going through, or something.
So if my H were to describe me and what I wanted and make no mention of my sexuality or sensuality, I would internally make a note of the fact that he STILL doesn't get me.
I think she needs to know that you now realize what a big part this plays in her personality. I know it is painful to bring up her sexuality because it inevitably throws Flabby Arms into the mental picture, but until I knew that he would forever 'see' me with new eyes, and never disregard my sexuality again, I could scarcely even think about a future with him.
These days he would not even think about leaving that part out of the description. When he says, I love your (fill in the blank) he is always sure to include something sensual because he knows that this is TRULY my love language..it is what makes me feel loved. Without it his flowery words will fall flat and I will feel that he is intentionally leaving this part out. (which, at this point in the game, he would be doing just that)
I just wanted to add this; I'm not sure if it has any pertinence to your prior conversation but it might come in handy for future ones. You are doing a stellar job, C. You really are a man o steel who is drawing her back in. Amazing!
Do you both agree on marital goals? That is, have you ever sat down and said, I want approx this many kids, and W will stay home and raise them while I bring home the bacon. etc?
One more question: How did you come up with your new thread name? Horn o plenty, as in a cornucopia of all your yummy vegetables that are planted..or horns as in the devil horns your W sometimes wears...or Plenty Horny as in your current state of mind...spill it, I want to know.
Also, please keep me updated on what is going on with the endocrinologist. I wish the best for you, health and wealth and otherwise!
