While you do sound angry I hear the hurt loud and clear too. Everyone here who is more HD suffers from that same hurt.
I feel your pain about the books. For the HD women here all the books say if we just parade around naked or in great lingerie, strive to make only positive conversation with our H's, compliment them enough that OF COURSE they will want to have sex. Because they are MEN and they naturally want to have sex every second. I hate to tell them - this just aint always the case.
Books like Passionate Marriage and Undefended Love take a far more balanced, relational view of the problem. BTW - there is a book that speaks to women as you mention - some book by Dr. Laura - I'm not sure of the name. As you say, getting your spouse to read the book or do anything about the information would be the problem.
