That particular book takes an entirely different and much more cerebral tack. The issue of LD and HD is not seen as a symptom of a marriage gone awry but rather a normal process. In fact there is an LD/HD partner on every issue -one of you is probably more HD on how clean the house is, or on issues about children or on keeping to a budget or a million other things. PM "Passionate Marriage" notes some reasons that people are LD but refuses to make either partner the one with the pathology.
I found it FAR more helpful than any of those tired books about this is how "men" are and this is how "women" are because for me (and HP, GEL and many other ladies here) that makes us feel as if we are the "men." In fact, our reasons and our feelings about sex are distinctly feminine although we want more sex than our H's. We don't want to be the man but we want to have sex as often as those books describe men wanting it. We would absolutely LOVE to just light a candle and put on something pretty, or trashy and have our H fall all over himself seducing us back. As IHJ says these are measures that may have worked well early on but I suspect not. I suspect that we are navigating throught the normal processes of marriage where each of us has to grow up, speak up and take responsibility for ourselves. These are tough lessons especially when the inevitable curve ball is thrown.
If you have been able to turn things around with your W before what helped then? Is it something you can try now.
