Although I've only been looking at these boards for the last couple of weeks - and not really in any great depth or detail - I'm reasonably familiar enough with Cemar's posts, and I can honestly say I don't feel THAT degree of anger. Or even close to it...honestly.
Honestly, (at least at times, in relation to my times of sexual frustration) I see myself relating much more closely to the feelings expressed by another member - GeekSpeek - in fact, it was a post by GeekSpeek that initially struck me as expressing so closely the feelings I have on the matter that I was prompted to register and voice my understanding of his feelings. Now, there are still differences...for one, in my marriage there are no children involved as is the case for GeekSpeek...and also it sounds like he's been a bit further down the road of overall marital struggles - to the point of working with a counselor and still not making satisfactory progress.
I know posting here is just skirting the issue. You wouldn't believe it to listen to me here, becuase obviously when I'm "venting" I'm emphasizing the negative and getting it out of my system...but I hope my above post gave you a glimpse of the positive side of my feelings and the deep, deep love I really do have for my wife...I just don't emphasize that here because it's not something I have to "vent!"
I come here, blow off those feelings, and then go back to business as usual.
And yes, my wife and I have always been able to eventually work things out and I'm sure we'll eventually communicate and work this out too. The issue is - as I mentioned on another post - that there are other personal issues of her own that my wife is working through (which I try to help her with, but basically they are issues that ultimately she's going to have to address for herself. These are issues that are outside of sex that I am not going to go into on these boards, but of course they create a tension in her life which spills over into our sex life as well...I understand that). And what is happening right now is that these are things she has her ups and downs with...and right now it is a particular down and I'm having a difficult time keeping my patience, although I do because I know I have to or these other issues will only get worse. And I have to be the shoulder she has to cry on and talk to and rely on support for these issues of hers...it's just that currently it's getting very difficult for me to do so because - and you got a taste of this in my above post - it's a big thing that I'm doing for her and getting nothing in return. When I say even a little give on her part would go a long long way...I mean it. I'm just currently in a mood - after several years of this - where I'm TEMPORARILY (I hope) at the end of my patience. I need a little time to cool off and then put my normal smiling face back on and keep dealing with it. In the meantime, rather than "blow a gasket" as someone else described their frustration, I come here and vent, because I sure don't want to blow up at my wife. That would not help anything.
She has things to talk about that she has difficulty bringing up, just as I have my own things. But we've been in similar situations before...we are eventually going to break the ice and start talking...and things will be looking up again. We've gotten out of these sorts of "funks" before and then things go well ... and that will happen again. Thanks, however, for your concern.
