nightrunner:

SSM are nothing but games. I find that I can not be "real" with my wife either, if I told her completely what I want from our marriage, she would give up. She has very little hope for meeting my true needs.

I understand about the games, for example, women don't like needy men. So the game seems to be to show the women that we really don't need them, and by doing so, they will then want us?