The games you refer to would only be applicable, imo, if you are dealing with an unfaithful spouse.
If it's a plain ol SSM, I'd say the best approach is to ditch the games, permanently if you are able to.
It was hard at first for me to act any old way I wanted to, knowing that H wanted me to act a "certain" way. But the more I was myself, the more he played along until he found that it wasn't quite as distasteful as he originally thought.
We are pretty good at being ourselves now but there is always some wariness with each other, barely detectable but it's there. I'm hopeful that this will be the last thing to go.
