Quote: Mrs. NOP, I have been critical of her in the past and this has made her feel like she could never please me, that nothing was good enough (in everyday life, not intimately although I now think she applies this to our love life as well). She has helped me see how my criticism has been hurtful and I understand that now. It is just hard for me to understand how she can't forgive me and try to move on. She says this could take a long time, if ever.
I can understand her having to deal with the residual resentments, but I don't understand the unwillingness to forgive either. My concern and the reason for my comment was what appeared to be a minimization (molehill) of her issues.
Not every broken sex life is a result of a broken relationship. Sometimes it is a result of a broken partner. But if your current problems are a result of relational problems, I didn't want you to make the mistake of thinking that her problems in the marriage were minor compared to yours.
Reconciliation really does take both partners to succeed.
Forgiveness is a choice.
It isn't a feeling.
That's where many of us make a mistake - waiting for warm fuzzy feelings to overcome us and sweep us into the land of reconciliation.
Are you and your wife of any particular religious leaning?
